I keep thinking oh man, I’m so immature. How am I allowed to be an adult.
Then I spend time with teenagers.
And it’s like, wow, okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.
yo yo yo let it go
I have been laughing for a full five minutes at this tweet
MAYBE if u didn’t want ur son to EAT poeple u shouldnt have named him something that rhymes with cannibal u should have name him hegetarian or something
i luv kids they are so much funner to talk to than adults. i asked a toddler today whats up and he said “ten” with such conviction i really did believe it was an adequate response to my question for a second
wow i need a drink [pours apple juice into shot glass]
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here